Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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