We're facebook friends in real life
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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