I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
