Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
