How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
