Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize