She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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