Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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