there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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