White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
