like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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