Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize