He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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