found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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