every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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