dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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