I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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