Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
