I love black thongs
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
