And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
