so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize