i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
