3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
look no pants
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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