your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
