But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize