What tipped you off? The sombrero?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
