wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
