So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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