she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
