Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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