hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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