he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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