just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
