That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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