is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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