I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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