i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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