when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
