Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
