I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
