The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
