Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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