singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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