he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
you made out with another girl for some wings
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
