Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
