I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
