drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
