Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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