at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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