awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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