Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
