just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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