I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
