Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
