Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just blew my weed a kiss
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
