im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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