You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
