Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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