I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
