why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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