we have officially lost it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Let's get the cat blown out
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
