Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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