do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
