I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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