marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
