also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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