I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need help removing her.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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