She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
