she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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