its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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