So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
