He is an equal opportunity slut.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
