Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
