Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
