38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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