she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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