Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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