filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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