I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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