every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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